I’ve been living with Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder abbreviated as PMDD since I started my menstrual and/or “friend.” Well she’s no friend of mine. She’s been more of an enemy than a friend to me. Looking back, I didn’t realize I had PMDD until I got older. It seemed to get worse. I didn’t get diagnosed with it until I was in my 20’s.
“She’s no friend of mine. …I just recently started letting some people know why I don’t come around when I make plans with them.”Qura Walker direct quote
Those of you who don’t know what PMDD is, it’s Premenstrual dysphoric disorder. It’s like having an evil twin sister who wants nothing more than to see you break into pieces. I get it two weeks out of every month before my period and it’s the worst two weeks of my life, not to mention my family’s life. You see – when she’s about to visit I start feeling depressed. I have no desire to be around people at all. I’ve had suicidal thoughts and I have zero confidence in myself during this time. I have severe migraines, insomnia, panic attacks and I have lack of concentration. Oh, and bloating that makes me look like I’m 6 months pregnant. I’m not friendly during this time. I have no patience or tolerance for people. You try living a “normal” life with PMDD. It’s taken over my life for what seems like my entire life since I was a teen. There is no cure or medicine that has worked for me and I’ve taken probably all of them. I haven’t taken anything in years now and refuse to at this point. I simply deal with my symptoms the best way I possibly can. My family probably gets the worst of it and I hate that I can’t control it because they deserve so much better than the way I am during this time. Please do not confuse PMDD with PMS because it is 100 times worse and never let anyone tell you that you’re overreacting or using it as a crutch. I’ve heard it all when I try to explain to people that it’s an illness. I just recently started letting some people know why I don’t come around when I make plans with them. As for now, I have no choice but to go through this alone because I don’t know anyone else who has had PMDD who can truly understand how I’m feeling and what I go through. This is a very small portion of my story and I hope it helps someone else who may be dealing with this illness.